Posted in Southern Humor on February 8, 2008 | No Comments »
Many many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.
Posted in Southern Humor on November 5, 2007 | 12 Comments »
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniel’s makes your list of [...]
Posted in Southern Humor on October 8, 2007 | 14 Comments »
Bubba went to a psychiatrist. “I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink. “Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of [...]
Posted in Southern Humor on June 30, 2007 | 9 Comments »
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so [...]
Posted in Southern Humor on June 21, 2007 | 15 Comments »
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
“Where’s Henry?” the others asked…
Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
“You [...]
Posted in Sex Humor, Southern Humor, Work Humor on June 15, 2007 | 7 Comments »
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how [...]
Posted in Political Humor, Southern Humor on June 7, 2007 | 21 Comments »
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These GEORGIA boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:1. The season opened today.2. There is no limit.3. They taste just like chicken.4. They don’t like [...]
Posted in Friends, Southern Humor on May 22, 2007 | 10 Comments »
This post is for those that wish to add to my earlier post, “The Southern Way”. Feel free to leave your additions on the original post and I’ll add them here. Mz. Jackson over at Coffee with Mz. Jackson added the following:
Here’s another threat, courtesy of my redneck-Marine-Corps-Viet-Nam-Vet-Baptist-Preacher daddy: “I’m going to kick your butt [...]
Posted in Southern Humor on May 22, 2007 | 14 Comments »
Exclamations:
“Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!”
“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”
Threats:“I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle.”
“This’ll jar your preserves.”
“Don’t you be makin’ me open a can o’ whoop-ass on ya!”Good Things/Compliments:
“Cute as a sack full of puppies.”
“If things get any better, I may have to hire [...]
Posted in Southern Humor on May 4, 2007 | 20 Comments »
Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff.
“Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin’ walkin’ down Main Street wearin’ nothin’ but your gunbelt and boots?”
“Well Sheriff, it’s a long [...]
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