Posted in Old Age Humor on January 3, 2008 | 24 Comments »
I’ve sure gotten old. I’ve had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes.
I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. [...]
Posted in Old Age Humor on November 25, 2007 | 11 Comments »
“This is what marriage is really all about.”
He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and [...]
Posted in Old Age Humor on November 8, 2007 | 23 Comments »
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get [...]
Posted in Old Age Humor on October 27, 2007 | 9 Comments »
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking.
Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”
Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 [...]
Posted in Old Age Humor on October 12, 2007 | 17 Comments »
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette Convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. ‘Amazing,’ he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he [...]
Posted in Old Age Humor on October 12, 2007 | No Comments »
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette Convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. ‘Amazing,’ he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.Looking in his rear view mirror, he [...]
Posted in Old Age Humor on September 25, 2007 | 17 Comments »
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, [...]
Posted in Ironic Humor, Old Age Humor on June 15, 2007 | 14 Comments »
Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself [...]
Posted in Ironic Humor, Old Age Humor on April 17, 2007 | 24 Comments »
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, Did I wake you????5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you [...]
Posted in Medical Humor, Old Age Humor on March 30, 2007 | 20 Comments »
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an Old man walking with his legs spread apart.
One of the students said to his friend: “I’m sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.”
The other student says: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He [...]
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