Thursday Thirteen – 135th Edition

March 5, 2008 by comedyplus

THIRTEEN THINGS THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN IN MOVIES.

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Thursday Thirteen Participants

1. SargeCharlie
2. Susiej
3. DrillerAA
4. Empress Bee (of the high sea)
5. baba doodlius
6. RennyBA
7. Chuck
8. The Teach
9. Skittles
10. Malcolm
11. Lori
12. Holly
13. pjazzypar
14. Tink
15. ornery’s wife
16. Cricket’s Hearth
17. Michelle

18. Nicholas
19. On a Limb with Claudia
20. pussreboots
21. Barbara H.
22. Joely
23. Susan Helene Gottfried
24. CrAzY Working Mom
25. Kat’s Krackerbox
26. Dane Bramage
27. Lady Rose
28. Gattina
29. Robin
30. Natalie
31. cronaca
32. love poetry
33. Corina
34. Sanni

35. AnthonyNorth
36. julia
37. Jersey
38. zenmomma
39. jennifer
40. Rims
41. Eve
42. Penelope Anne aka The Mama Bear
43. The Happy Housewife
44. karla ~ looking towards heaven
45. Deanna Dahlsad
46. imadramamama
47. Chris
48. toraa mirror
49. Natalie
50. Blogging by Sandee
51. xboxwife

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Posted in Thursday Thirteen | 96 Comments

96 Responses

on March 5, 2008 at 11:29 am | Reply DrillerAA

That’s why Hollywood is so close to real life!! Love this T13. Extremely original, and funny…my favorite kind of T13
on March 5, 2008 at 11:49 am | Reply Empress Bee (of the High Sea)

yeah, that’s right. ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxooxoxoxox
on March 5, 2008 at 12:04 pm | Reply Baba Doodlius

I’m really sorry to have to say this, but #1 has been officially disproved by box-office blockbuster maker Will Smith.

Check out “Pursuit of Happyness”.

If Will Smith can’t find a parking space in fron tof the building, then nobody can! He’s so jiggy.
on March 5, 2008 at 12:12 pm | Reply Sarge Charlie

Yep, that is just the way it happens
on March 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm | Reply RennyBA

Great meme and I was thinking: Still people watch movies and believes it – amazing
on March 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm | Reply Chuck

heheheeh You are sooo right! Gr8 post idea Bravo buddy!

Happy TT
on March 5, 2008 at 1:30 pm | Reply the teach

Sandee, you got me again. I’m yucking my head off!! I’ll never be able to watch a detective/thriller movie or Law and Order again. That one about finding a parking space directly outside the building… Bwhahahahaha!
on March 5, 2008 at 3:16 pm | Reply susiej

You had me going there for a second… but you’re right. None of this stuff every happens!!
on March 5, 2008 at 3:18 pm | Reply Malcolm

Good list of movie cliches. I remember a time when I really could have used a chainsaw, but couldn’t find one to save my life.
on March 5, 2008 at 3:22 pm | Reply Lori

I know #10 would make my life a whole lot easier (smile)!
on March 5, 2008 at 3:39 pm | Reply Holly

And of COURSE all females in horror movies will go into a room they shouldn’t or open a door they shouldn’t.

Fun post – thank you!
I have my 11th Edition of my Thursday 13.

It’s 13 Rides/Attractions I love at Disney World.

Drop by – I’m glad to see you and will visit you.

http://theabundanceplace.com

Smiles,

Holly
on March 5, 2008 at 3:42 pm | Reply pjazzypar

You always come up with humourous and interesting TT’s week after week. Number 5, 8, and 11 never fail to happen.
on March 5, 2008 at 3:48 pm | Reply Tink

Great list!! And o so true! *LOL*
Thanks for visiting my inspiring people TT.
on March 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm | Reply Ornery's Wife

And don’t we all wish real life worked that way; especially the parking place right in front of the building!
TM
on March 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm | Reply Ornery's Wife

And don’t we all wish real life worked that way; especially the parking place right in front of the building!
TM
on March 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm | Reply Ornery's Wife

And don’t we all wish real life worked that way; especially the parking place right in front of the building!
TM
on March 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm | Reply Ornery's Wife

And don’t we all wish real life worked that way; especially the parking place right in front of the building!
TM
on March 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm | Reply Ornery's Wife

And don’t we all wish real life worked that way; especially the parking place right in front of the building!
TM
on March 5, 2008 at 4:16 pm | Reply Michelle

And, #14: Bad guys can never shoot straight; their shots are always duck-able, while the hero’s are always right on target!

Outstanding TT! Made me chuckle and downright LOL!

Happy TT!
on March 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Reply Cricket's Hearth

LOL – so, so true! One would think with all the talent in Hollywood, a new set of “rules” could be made.
on March 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Reply Cricket's Hearth

LOL – so, so true! One would think with all the talent in Hollywood, a new set of “rules” could be made.
on March 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Reply Cricket's Hearth

LOL – so, so true! One would think with all the talent in Hollywood, a new set of “rules” could be made.
on March 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Reply Cricket's Hearth

LOL – so, so true! One would think with all the talent in Hollywood, a new set of “rules” could be made.
on March 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Reply Cricket's Hearth

LOL – so, so true! One would think with all the talent in Hollywood, a new set of “rules” could be made.
on March 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm | Reply The Gal Herself

#13 troubles me, now that you mention it. The news stories in the movies last much, much longer than they do in real life, too.

Thanks for visiting my TT (even though you publicly claimed to not know of Miss Patti LaBelle).
on March 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm | Reply marcia

LOL thatwas awesome and Sandee will always have a great TT
on March 5, 2008 at 4:31 pm | Reply Bud Weiser, WTIT

That was VERY funny! Thanks for the laughs!
on March 5, 2008 at 4:37 pm | Reply Lyn

That was great! so true, and so funny… every time I watch tv or movies, I always happen to notice things they think we won’t notice, like they will have a different shirt on, or their hair was messed up a second ago but now it is neat, or they left their keys in the kitchen but leave via the front door with no keys… crazy, funny stuff… great post and have a great night… hugs and )))))
on March 5, 2008 at 4:38 pm | Reply Linda

I always wondered about the politeness of the Ninja warriors to wait until one was done getting their butt kicked before the other stepped in. It seemed so polite!
on March 5, 2008 at 4:48 pm | Reply thrivingat30

Now, wait just a minute…this proves that you do watch at least a few movies… LOL I loved this list! *I didn’t participate this week.

http://www.mamapj.com
on March 5, 2008 at 4:48 pm | Reply Nicholas

Fun list!

As a corollary top #1, anyone driver can glance at his rear view mirror for half a second in rush hour traffic and tell that he is being followed.

And along the same lines as #6, no one who has been shot in the arm or shoulder will ever cry out in pain, or do more than squeeze the wounded part with their hand. For earthy realism, a little blood may seep out between their fingers.
on March 5, 2008 at 5:22 pm | Reply Desert Songbird

A truly inspired list, Sandee. You got it!
on March 5, 2008 at 5:39 pm | Reply pussreboots

In Singin’ in the Rain, when Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly) is dancing down the street in the rain he doesn’t get anyone dancing with him. The few strangers he passes look at him like he’s a weirdo. The cop at the end almost gives him a ticket.

Happy TT.
on March 5, 2008 at 5:45 pm | Reply Open Grove Claudia

Movies – it’s incredible because we learn so much from this format. What gets me is that people (like Bruce Willis) can go through all this stuff – and has no PTSD. Amazing.

Happy TT, Sandee.

My TT is about Art Candy.
on March 5, 2008 at 5:49 pm | Reply Chelle Y.

And the girl always gets the guy, who is charming, sweet, cute, and HOT!
on March 5, 2008 at 7:30 pm | Reply Ivanhoe

Where do you come up with your ideas? You never cease to amaze me! That is why you are my #1 blogger! Happy TT!
on March 5, 2008 at 7:53 pm | Reply Barbara H.

LOL!! Too true! Great list!
on March 5, 2008 at 8:07 pm | Reply Lori

LMAO…yep, your right…that is too funny. Happy TT.
on March 5, 2008 at 8:12 pm | Reply Joely Sue Burkhart

Ha, great list! I recognize many of these movies. Happy TT!
on March 5, 2008 at 8:18 pm | Reply Susan Helene Gottfried

And THAT is why I’ve quit watching a lot of movies!

(everyone is a perfect shot, too. It makes the Tour Manager crazy.)
on March 5, 2008 at 8:31 pm | Reply Journeywoman

Great list.
on March 5, 2008 at 8:41 pm | Reply crazy working mom

The one about martial arts (#5) was my favorite, but the list is great…they are all good!

Thanks for the laugh. Happy TT.
on March 5, 2008 at 8:43 pm | Reply Kat's Krackerbox

They are all so true! Especially about getting suspended and then solving the case. Hilarious! Happy TT
on March 5, 2008 at 8:43 pm | Reply Kat's Krackerbox

They are all so true! Especially about getting suspended and then solving the case. Hilarious! Happy TT
on March 5, 2008 at 8:43 pm | Reply Kat's Krackerbox

They are all so true! Especially about getting suspended and then solving the case. Hilarious! Happy TT
on March 5, 2008 at 8:43 pm | Reply Kat's Krackerbox

They are all so true! Especially about getting suspended and then solving the case. Hilarious! Happy TT
on March 5, 2008 at 8:43 pm | Reply Kat's Krackerbox

They are all so true! Especially about getting suspended and then solving the case. Hilarious! Happy TT
on March 5, 2008 at 9:33 pm | Reply Tasina

Here’s one that bothers me. If the plot requires that your phone ring endlessly, then you WILL NOT have an answering machine/voice mail. Or, if the plot requires that someone leave you an important, ominous, yet garbled message then your 1980’s era tape deck machine kicks on after one ring.
on March 5, 2008 at 10:00 pm | Reply Greatfullivin

Thanks for the laughs!…..and women always walk alone after dark.
on March 5, 2008 at 10:26 pm | Reply Roger

hahaha always a joy Sandee! Hugs & much love
on March 5, 2008 at 10:31 pm | Reply Dane Bramage

And remember, the world is always saved by the team of misunderstood social outcasts and not the highly trained professionals originally called upon to do it.

My 70th Thursday 13 is up. 13 Childrens Books That Were Never Written Stop by if you get a chance.
on March 5, 2008 at 10:53 pm | Reply Rhonda

Number 10 is perfect!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!!
on March 5, 2008 at 11:17 pm | Reply Gattina

That’s absolutely true, lol ! and a knocked down and beaten up person who should normally have nose and ribs broken stands up, cleans their jeans and walk away !
on March 5, 2008 at 11:55 pm | Reply Robin

Very funny list, especially #9. I’ve long laughed over that one.

(As a funny aside, in Israel foreign movies are subtitled. You can always tell whether the “foreign” characters in an American movie are really speaking or not by whether or not their words are subtitled. If there’s no subtitle you know they’re talking gibberish!)
on March 6, 2008 at 12:24 am | Reply Natalie

You’ve gotta love Hollywood! *rolls eyes*
on March 6, 2008 at 1:24 am | Reply Contacts or Contact lens

U are so right. These things are so common. I have noticed it also.
on March 6, 2008 at 2:13 am | Reply Corina

It sounds like we’ve been watching the same movies!

Nice list.
on March 6, 2008 at 3:32 am | Reply Odat

That is sooo true!!! LMAO.
Peace
on March 6, 2008 at 6:12 am | Reply fullbodytransplant

Great idea, I always find those here!
on March 6, 2008 at 6:17 am | Reply Matt-Man

All of those are so very true. ha. Cheers!!
on March 6, 2008 at 6:48 am | Reply Shannon

Number 5 caught me, yeah even you are outnumbered your enemies will wait to attack you haha
on March 6, 2008 at 7:02 am | Reply Sanni

*LOL* – yes, you´re definitley right, girlfriend!

I´m always amazed that women of action can run, do karate, kickbox, climb ladders and perform highly acrobatic movements while wearing six inch heals and either a miniskirt or a tight leather cat suit. =)
on March 6, 2008 at 7:15 am | Reply anthonynorth

You mean it don’t happen like that in real life?
Damn! I thought it was just me.
on March 6, 2008 at 7:53 am | Reply Julia Smith

This is an easy one:
‘When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.’

It’s more expensive to put in the subtitles. Also, North American audiences in general shy away from subtitles.

I LOVE this T13, Sandee – movies are my life!
on March 6, 2008 at 8:13 am | Reply Jersey - The Furry Diva

*RollOverFloorWoofing*

Thanks for the great laugh, Miss Sandee! I always thought I didn´t get it… but obviously the hooman movies are strange
on March 6, 2008 at 8:41 am | Reply Linda

And, the police arrive right after the good guy has everything under control. Great list.
on March 6, 2008 at 9:42 am | Reply Lazy Daisy

Isn’t that the truth. Way to funny!
on March 6, 2008 at 9:42 am | Reply Zenmomma

Thanks for the chuckle!
on March 6, 2008 at 10:02 am | Reply Rims

LOL!!!

I cant stop laughing…amazing list

Happy TT!!
on March 6, 2008 at 10:05 am | Reply jennifer

This is great. #14 – People wake up and KISS like they don’t have rancid morning breath.

The first time hubby rolls over and tries that……EEEWWW. It’s just to horrible to think about! Jennifer
on March 6, 2008 at 10:22 am | Reply Eve

You are so right! Wish life were more like the movies. =)
on March 6, 2008 at 11:00 am | Reply Marilyn

This is really funny, and true too.
on March 6, 2008 at 11:36 am | Reply happyhousewife

Too funny! Happy TT~
on March 6, 2008 at 11:41 am | Reply {Karla}

this is so spot on! cracked me up (so much so, that I Stumbled it… hope you see more traffic from it!)

Happy T13!

Blessings,
Karla
on March 6, 2008 at 11:49 am | Reply Sarah

Yes, the “movies” are so predicable most times!

Happy TT! Stop by Sassyfrazz if you get a chance!
on March 6, 2008 at 11:59 am | Reply Melanie

Those are hilarious! I laughed out loud at several!
on March 6, 2008 at 12:06 pm | Reply storyteller

Yup … and those are just some of the reasons I don’t go to movies any more ;–)

I still love the giraffe from yesterday. He’s watching me type today’s comment.
Hugs and blessings,
on March 6, 2008 at 1:07 pm | Reply tasha

This was hilarious!! I’m not a movie fan, so I got a real kick out of this. I especially giggled at #5! Happy TT!
on March 6, 2008 at 1:13 pm | Reply Melody

This is funny. I like number one, most days the “Parking gods” are on my side, I can do this, too!
on March 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm | Reply Deanna Dahlsad

Can you imagine how long movies would be if we watched them walk the mall parking lot?
on March 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm | Reply imadramamama

The “wait patiently and attack” parts are my favorite in Martial Arts movies!!
on March 6, 2008 at 1:38 pm | Reply Misty Dawn

Oh how very true this is! These only happen in the movies!
on March 6, 2008 at 1:45 pm | Reply YellowRose

Very fun TT!! You’d think Hollywood would learn that we caught on!! LOL

Happy TT!
on March 6, 2008 at 2:46 pm | Reply Chris

LMAO – great list. Happy TT!
on March 6, 2008 at 3:13 pm | Reply Anonymous

I’ve seen this on several other sites, such as this one: http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=388106 it’s part of a larger list. I wonder where it originated?
on March 6, 2008 at 3:13 pm | Reply TorAa

Unbelievable how predictable most movies (Hollywood) really are.

Great TT entry
on March 6, 2008 at 4:25 pm | Reply Kay

That’s a terrific list, and so true!
I always notice how an average woman can go through all kinds of tragedy and she doesn’t even shake or cry when it’s over.
I get all shaky when I see a snake.
on March 6, 2008 at 6:50 pm | Reply Natalie

I’m always amazed by how great movie-people look when they wake up.

Great list – very funny!

Happy TT.
on March 6, 2008 at 7:44 pm | Reply Travis

And then the cops will become closer than brothers right?

Happy TT!
on March 7, 2008 at 12:04 am | Reply Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife

Mr. Brownstone and I were just recently talking about this and poking fun at a scene in a movie. This is my first TT, and this was a really great list!
on March 7, 2008 at 12:46 am | Reply Sisi

Nice article.I red one with pleasure.
on March 7, 2008 at 5:43 am | Reply chanpheng

Great post! You really captured the essence of Hollywood’s unreality.

My TT is in honor of Women’s History month and International Women’s Day on 8 March. Thirteen Famous (and not so famous) Women
on March 7, 2008 at 9:59 am | Reply MichaelTAdams

I can not tell you how many times #10 has come in handy for me personally. Much more often than #13 for sure.

#14, no matter how good a shot the bad guy your chasing is, he will only ever hit you personally in the shoulder, causing almost no damage or affecting any range of motion.
on March 7, 2008 at 11:45 pm | Reply byrningbunny

Somebody in Hollywood gave you the list so you’d know all the secrets, didn’t they?!! This was great.
on March 8, 2008 at 9:23 am | Reply Mimi Lenox

And you are always about to sit down to eat dinner when you turn on the news and see something totally gross.
on March 8, 2008 at 5:24 pm | Reply OneLuvGurl

I couldn’t get any linky love but mine is up: http://blog.mysocalledsite.com/?p=277

Happy TT and I LOVE you answers! So true!