Thursday Thirteen #7

1. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather — who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” — Author Unknown
2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.” –Author Unknown
3. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” — Drew Carey
4. “The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.” — Jeff Foxworthy
5. “If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.” — Dave Barry
6. “Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.” — Bob Ettinger
7. “My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’” — Paula Poundstone
8. “A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: “Duh.” — Conan O’Brien
9. “Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God…. I could be eating a slow learner.” — Lynda Montgomery
10. “I think that’s how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.’” — Richard Jeni
11. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.” — Jerry Seinfeld
12. “Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.” — Oscar Wilde
13. “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself.” — Mark Twain

Thursday Thirteen Participants

1. Mama Pajama 2. menopauseprincess 3. Nicholas 4. Tink 5. Chelle Y. 6. toni 7. Candy 8. Nap Warden 9. pussreboots 10. Susan Helene Gottfried 11. ellen b 12. Malcolm 13. Lori 14. Jen 15. empress bee (of the high sea) 16. Journeywoman

17. Ed 18. The Gal Herself 19. secret agent mama 20. Blog That Mommy! 21. julia 22. SargeCharlie 23. The Egel Nest 24. Crazy Working Mom 25. Rae 26. Denise 27. Grace 28. damozel 29. renae 30. http://Marcia 31. Cecily 32. Siani

33. vigilant20 34. jennifer 35. Ann Aguirre 36. Believer in Balance 37. mags 38. Lyn 39. Deb – Mom of 3 Girls 40. Lazy Daisy 41. Sandra Schwab 42. Gail Martin 43. Sue 44. Praisefiddler 45. Amelia June 46. bernie

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