Pampered Chef Party

You are invited to a special Pampered Chef party!

WHERE: MY HOUSE or order online!

TIME: 7pm

Date: Tonight

I know how busy you all are and that you probably hate being invited to any home parties, but I assure you this is no ordinary home party. And to be honest, I haven’t had a party like this in ages, and I need to update my kitchen gadgets.

Pampered Chef has come out with new consultants and products that are fabulous.

The Passionate Blogger Award

I just got this award from Mike over at Rambling Stuff.  Thanks a million for giving this one back to me.  You are the greatest.

Sandee passed this award on to:

Lisa of “…All Things Work for Good…”
Annie of A Nice Place in the Sun
Megan of Amid Clutter
Clara of Coming Back to Life!
Diane of Good Mourning, Glory

Redneck 911 Call

A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

The operator, trying to calm him says, “Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he’s dead.” There’s a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!

The redneck comes back on the line and says, “OK, now what?”

More on Farts…

Merry Christmas

All About Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Norman’s Wife

Norman and his blonde wife live in Fargo.

One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”

Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.

The Wisdom of Ted Nugent

“Ted Nugent, a heavy metal guitar legend and devoted (bow) hunter, was being interviewed by a French journalist. Eventually, the conversation turned to his love of outdoor pursuits. The journalist asked, “What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, “Are you my friend?” or maybe “Are you the one who killed my brother?”

Nugent replied, “They aren’t capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, What am I going to eat next? Who am I going to screw next? and, can I run fast enough to get away? They are very much like the French in that way.”

Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex

When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good. If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.

Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.

In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

You don’t have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie minimum.

Fish don’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.